The No Watch List

I went to see Mary Poppins Returns this week. It was, as you'd expect magical and practically perfect in every way. And as an aside I am now in love with Lin-Manuel Miranda. I get very excited when I go to the cinema. I always have a cherry ice blast and I like to get in my seat in plenty of time for the trailers. And it stated beforehand that all the trailers would be suitable for the audience. And Mary Poppins Returns is a U, Universally Suitable for Everyone. Now this is important because what happened next was a travesty. I was subjected to the live action Dumbo trailer. I closed my eyes and I covered my ears but it didn't help. That poor little baby elephant still had his mother cruelly taken away. I wanted to run home, scoop up my Saga and cuddle her all night. It took quite a few sucks on the old slushie to get over that I can tell you. That was certainly not Suitable for Everyone.
Dumbo is on my No Watch List. The USA has a  "No Fly List" - A watch list of people the government has designated as "known or suspected terrorists". And I have the "No Watch List". Films or TV shows (or books) that I will not even entertain watching due to their content. Some, I have been traumatised by already.

I had managed to avoid the Dumbo trailer for months now - Ignoring it on the trailer channel and fast forwarding it whenever it showed up. I have also carefully ignored seeing the cartoon again. The only bit I'll watch is the crows doing When I see an Elephant Fly. Note: I am aware of the racist connotations of that scene and yes I know that Walt Disney was pro Nazi. So was Henry Ford. It is what is is.

So how do you get on my No Watch List? Well usually cruelty or "bad things" being done to animals is a given, especially baby animals. So whilst <SPOILERS> Marley and Me is utterly devastating, that dog had a fantastic life . Whereas The Fox and the Hound is a no flipping go from the start - Never seen it. Not going to thank you very much. 

Inanimate objects having feelings is a dodgy area for me too. So I struggle with Wall E and the Pixar shorts <wipes a tear>. Or animals that are lost or lonely - Homeward Bound is a difficult watch. 

I do struggle with films when people are horrible to other people (or animals) the beating scene in Casino made me cover my eyes and I won’t watch home invasion horror. Quite happy for the protagonist to be tortured by a ghostly demon but if it’s the next door neighbour then I’m out. 

In 1978 a new cartoon film came out for children. My aunt took me to see it. I was 7 1/2. I spent most of the film with my head under my cardigan. It was a dark pink cardigan that my mother had knitted me with flower buttons. My aunt kept pulling it down saying "You cant see the film". That was kind of the point. To this day I will never understand the thinking behind Watership Down. Last Christmas they announced a TV version. It was a no from me. No no no. I have read and seen excerpts of Plague Dogs, Richard Adams next book. And you can keep it. 

I watch films/TV to be entertained, not be be emotionally wrangled - I can do that myself. And I know my Watership Down vents on Facebook have resonated with a number of chums. It would seem it’s on many people's No Watch List. What's on yours?