Friday 4 January 2019

Who’s your daddy? Film families

I was watching A Muppet Christmas Carol (because it’s the number one Christmas film and it's awesome) and I had a troubling thought. 

Bob and Emily Cratchit have 4 children in this version. 2 boys and twin girls.

Now Bob is played by Kermit the Frog and Emily by Miss Piggy so you may wonder what their offspring might look like. Well it would seem that the girls are piggies like their mother and the boys frogs (like daddy). 
Now you might say (and you be right) "Ahh but Lillekat, Miss Piggy and Kermit are only playing the Cratchits and the children are also being acted - after all isn't Tiny Tim being played by Robin, Kermit's nephew?" And I would bow to your Muppet knowledge and be quiet for a minute before going "Ah yes, dear reader, but what about Gumball?"

Gumball is a cat. And so is his mother. But his father and his sister are both rabbits. Their adopted brother is a goldfish but lets stay within the realms of possibility here! So in the world of Gumball, offspring look like either of the parents but not both.

And then there's Dr Who. In the episode Gridlock, a humanoid and a cat person had a litter of what were blatantly kittens. And not human baby sized kittens, kitten sized kittens which must have been the easiest labour ever! Would they develop in to full cats? or cat people or something else? We may never know.

Some shows look at the possibility of cross breeds. In Adventure Time, a dog and a rainbow unicorn create rainbow puppies. And Nergal Jnr in Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy is a combination of his father Nergal, Humanoid Abomination from the centre of the Earth, and Billy's Aunt Sis.
And look at the Shrek franchise. Donkey and Dragon's offspring are definite cross breeds. Little fire breathing donkeys with wings. Cute and neither a dragon nor a donkey.

There is a whole tv trope dedicated to inter species love, notably in animation, from human and alien love/ marriage in Futurama to penguin and dolphin unrequited love for Kowalski (Penguins of Madagascar, like I needed to tell you) And of course there's the whole woman/kangaroo thing in Tank Girl....

But most of these couples are, due to age constraints, non sexual and on screen at least, innocent.

But am I the only one who shouts at the screen

Won't someone think of the children?

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