Easily influenced

I've always been affected by what I'm exposed to. As a child I was 'accused' of being Welsh because I had picked up the accent from my room mate on holiday. Interestingly despite living up here in Manchester for 30+ years, I have still managed to keep hold of my North London, slightly posh Hampstead twang. Although my sibling accuses me of speaking "like a Northerner" from time to time, I would suggest that this is NOT a view shared by Mancunian locals!

Now  I've just been to see the Lego Movie 2 and I was full of joyous sharing feelings and singing "Super Cool" as I sashay up the road. Seriously go see it, it's good. 

When "My Name is Tallulah" comes on my fruit based device, I turn into a teenage sexpot, slinking my way onto the bus. Unfortunately shuffle means the next track could be anything from X Gon' Give It To Ya, through 5 different versions of Stepping Stone into the Pussycat Dolls. So slink goes to strut via groovy shame.

Now all this is well and good when I'm watching "Pride & Prejudice" (again) or something similar. The Lady Lillekat comes out to play and she knows what to do with her little finger, thank you very much. And when I feel down I find a few episodes of the cartoon "Wander over Yonder", which is about being lovely to people and "It never hurts to help", will perk me right up as I start to remember all the loveliness in the world. Sing it with me "Everything is awesome! Everything is great when you're part of a team".

So far so good. Except I'm currently entrenched in Shameless (US). I noticed a change when I asked my niece to "scope out the joint" of a friend she was visiting when really I meant "ask the friend if they knew where something might be". When chatting with chums about a gay friend and my relationship I found myself coming out with the line “I like dick and so does he.” This is not normal parlance for me. I would usually only use “dick” to describe Donald Trump.  I'm wearing a lot more hoodies and whilst I have always been a bit of a potty mouth, the vocabulary used is definitely more guttural (see dick quote) and my use of the middle finger has increased exponentially. 

It should be noted that I have never watched Breaking Bad, because I don't think my cul de sac is the place for a meth lab.

The thing is I'm only on season two. There are 7 seasons on Netflix with at least 2 more to come. - Will I end up putting my sofa on the porch? I don't have a porch. Will my car parking space do instead? 

The Saga Saga - A Tale from Two Perspectives

I have just returned from a most wonderful weekend away in Yorkshire. The snow was crisp, the sky was blue and the fire was well stoked. There was one small hiccup which will be detailed below from both perspectives. You can choose how you prefer the tale to be told...

Saga’s Saga

So. Mummy had taken me away to this amazing place and it was all white and cold and stuff. Mummy said it was “snowy” There was a big garden and the snow came up to my tummy which kinda tickled but was really cold. Anyways I woke up early (it was still dark) and I really needed a wee so I got mummy up and we went downstairs so she could let me out. It was amazing. The garden place was all crisp and cold and I had a good romp. Suddenly I noticed a small wall, so I stood up to look over and the snow was all pristine on that side. Well, I had to go and investigate, so I hopped over for a sniff and and a bit of a play. I checked behind me and mummy was following so she must have thought this was OK and off I went. 

I went up the road and then I could hear water. I love water so I decided to head off and look for it. I could hear mummy’s voice calling me so I knew she wasn’t far away and that meant I could go on. It was really cool. There was woods to run through (and I scrambled under trees) and water and ice and these little stone bridges and everything. I went under trees, across the river, through fields. Then suddenly I stopped hearing mummy. Well, that was a bit worrying cos I thought she had got lost. I turned around and scooted back. I was just coming back up the road when I saw her. I wasn’t quite ready to stop exploring but I was glad she was around so I led her up the road. And then I heard this scratching and there was a funny noise so I ran into this garden. I could hear it coming from the shed. I went to look but I couldn’t see anything.  I looked at mummy and I thought she looked a bit cold and to be honest I was a bit chilly so I got her to run around the garden after me for a while. Then I went to look at the shed again. And that’s when mummy grabbed me. She was a bit rough, you know. But she said we were going home. That was OK with me cos it was a bit cold now. She walked me back to our home. And then we had a cuddle. But I had to wear my beeping harness after that all the time which was a bit much, if you asked me. I showed mummy’s friends the wall later cos they might want to go for a run too. But no one did.

The rest of the weekend was fun and I did get to go in the river. But this time I had my coat on so I only had a paddle.

Lillekat’s Lament

As per usual Saga woke me up before 6 to go to the loo. I had taken her tracker harness off so she’d be more comfortable and we had been out a couple of times that evening with no problem. She went out, did her business and then suddenly was up, over the wall and off. Not knowing how else to get out, I clambered over the wall after her, hoping beyond all hope that this garden was closed. It wasn’t. So clad in a red vest and pink paisley harem pyjamas, I chased after her. At a fork in the road it started to snow. I was getting quite cold at this point and I started to panic. Every so often Saga would turn round, see me calling her and run off. I went under trees, crossed a river and I was really worried now as I didn’t know where I was. All I knew was I had definitely crossed several gardens as security lighting had gone off.  I was freezing and wet from the snow and I couldn’t see her any more. 

I started to cry then decided to go back, get dressed and return. After a few false starts (under the wrong trees) I made it back to the road and then I realised I was going to have to go back over the wall to get back in. I went in through next doors garden and scrabbled over the wall to get into the house. Then I really panicked. I was scared, I was cold and I had lost my baby. I texted my family and my sister (luckily) was awake and calmed me down and helped me get my act together. I got dressed and went out the front door this time so I could get back in. I had left a message for my chums so they knew where I was. I walked quickly back to the fork in the road calling Saga. I felt quite hopeless then... there she was! She, of course, nipped past me and legged it off again but turned into a large garden. It had a gate. And fence. I shut the gate and breathed. I had her contained. Now to catch her. After a few loops of the garden she became fascinated by a chicken coop and I was able to catch her. Relief flooded through me. I held her tight and put her on her lead. We walked home. I dread to think what the garden owner thought that morning

I got to the front door and tried it. It was locked. Close to tears again I knocked at the door. Nothing. I thought “back over the wall then”

As I walked round to the garden I saw that next door was “also” called Rose Cottage and then I realised I had in fact been at the wrong door. Once inside Saga had her tracker put on and was not allowed to go anywhere without it. I made a cup of tea, texted the family and the chums and curled up on the sofa to have a good shake a cuddle and a little sob. Suddenly exhausted we went back to bed and later I regaled the gang with my tale of woe. By then I was able to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. My lovely chums gave me a hug and made me some tea. But I do wonder how if anyone saw me in my pjs legging it across their garden in the snow. And if so, what did they think?