Making friends

When I was a girl, I didn't have many friends. I was different, I said weird things or I was too loud or I didn't have the same boundaries. For whatever reason I was on my own a lot. Which was fine. As a teenager I had plenty of boyfriends. Again my behaviour was probably very attractive (as well as the norks; never underestimate the power of norks). But not loads of chums. Even at university, where other people meet their lifelong friends, I couldn't connect with many people. It wasn't til I was in my late 20s that I finally managed to make some proper friends. Not loads but some. 

But that feeling of being excluded is always with me. I am terrified of groups of people. What if they don't like me? What if I say something "stupid"? My condition means it's bloody likely I'm going to say something either weird or inappropriate. If I can I take Saga (my Jack Russell as a diversion. <Look at the cute dog! Ignore the mental woman!> Having her with me means I have someone to talk to if I can't join in.

 

Recently I was invited to a chum's birthday gathering. He and his lovely OH have a lot of friends from a different social circle so I knew I wouldn't know anyone there. Luckily the venue liked dogs so Saga and I set off. 

You know how hard it can be to break into new groups? Well these people weren't like that. I felt included straight away. I had tea. I even played a game and DIDNT lose. It was a truly lovely afternoon and I was so happy to be there. 

That afternoon has made me Brave. I just might try another meet up with people. You know, on the off chance I could get to like this socialising lark...