A change is nowhere near as good as a rest.

Maintaining stability in the world of bipolar requires stability elsewhere. When you're trying to keep emotionally level, it really helps if your life is also consistent. No surprises here please. Plans are preferred.

I have managed to maintain a little constancy at work by flying in the face of tradition and having my own desk with my drawers and my stuff. Even though we "hot desk" my colleagues know I'm "funny" about that. As Sheldon Cooper would say "You're in my spot". 

The last six months have been nothing but change and the cracks are starting to show. For those of you not up to date with the current affairs of Lillekat, here is a summary:

• The man and I have separated
• 2 of my thinking brain dogs have had to leave me
• My house is for sale and I have to move
• My company is no longer following the plans I like so many other bought into for the future but is currently "exploring options"
• And the other day I found out that my office is closing and I will have to move to another building. 

Too much change for one mentally challenged girl. 

And today has not gone well. I was late up. Saga picked up on my mood and promptly piddled on the floor. Then the buses were all full. Then of course Saga was scared by all the people. When I finally got home, put on the pc and nothing. Had to do a full reboot to get the bloody thing working. 

Each individual thing only small. And each change in that list probably manageable in its own.  But when you're tethered to normality by a string, and things just keep swiping away at that string, eventually one final swipe will leave you floating away into the nothingness. 

I'm stressed, scared and sad. What I want to do is to hide in my bed until it all Goes Away. And eat chocolate and chips. And cry. And get off the world for a while.

Luckily I have Saga still. My little bundle of comfort. Who needs me to get up and be a human being. And that then encourages other good behaviours. Exercise. Getting washed and dressed. Making proper food because I'm hungry and so is she. I am lucky enough to be "out" at work so I have said I shall work from home for a couple of days as I am "not myself" (why yes, that is a euphemism). 

Things are still not good but I am working through it one day at a time. I still feel lost but I can see you all so if you could just keep the light on I'm trying to get home.  

Change is inevitable. There's nothing that can be done about that. But how we approach change and how we deal with things that bother us can make all the difference. We can also look at how we are with our colleagues friends and family.  If you think someone's over reacting to what seems like a small thing, maybe their string has finally broken and they are alone and scared in the wilderness of their own mind. Reach out. Give them a hug or a manly pat on the shoulder. Let them know that you see them. Give them your hand to get them back on the ground. And leave the light on.