I am back on the market. The dating market that is. And because I am a busy independent woman in her forties, this entails signing up again for the introduction websites. Time to find a fairly decent pic or two and write a witty, yet possibly sexy without being too outre, sales pitch for the package that is your humble author. Now some sites like chapter and verse, inside leg measurement, the last thing you ate, what and who you like and your intentions, whereas others are only concerned with where you are and a brief paragraph to show your fun carefree side.
Here's mine
Recently separated, I find myself suddenly "out there" with no idea where there is or what I'm doing. I work hard and I spend much of my spare time with my little Jack Russell. I love going the theatre especially Shakespeare, Noel Coward and Oscar Wilde. I really enjoy stand up comedy in the vein of Dave Gorman, Chris Addison and Russell Howard.
Big fan of Tom Lehrer, cartoons, Radio 4, Wittertainment, Only Connect, Mock the Week, Blackadder, The Big Bang Theory, Discworld and Douglas Adams. I have a favourite artist (Chagall) and a favourite Womble (Tobermory). I think Mystery Incorporated was the best Scooby Doo incarnation and Gravity Falls looks like a pretty cool place to live. I’ve read Dracula and Twilight and I think they both have good bits and... less good bits.
I don't like reality shows or soaps apart from my one guilty pleasure - Strictly. I do like a cryptic crossword (although I'm not always very good at them), sudoku or quiz and I can happily chat for hours on the arts, history or what hilarious thing my dog did today ;)
I have a tendency to talk in quotes and lyrics and my pop culture references are rather stuck in the 1980s! An enthusiastic tea drinker and mediocre tea maker.
So if you like pina coladas and long walks in the rain, if you know why the number 42 is important and the reason one might spend the year dead, if you’ve ever gone totally Bursar, or wished a friend a Happy Hogswatch, if you know how to answer the question “How do you get on the internet” and you worship at the Church of Wittertainment then I might just be the one for you. Let’s get together and plan our escape..
I was quite impressed with it, but it didn't seem to get me much interest :( So I shortened it...
Forty something Southern girl up North. Love to laugh. I like stuff. Also things. Things like films, comedy, radio 4, sci fi/fantasy, good food, good wine, walking the dog, pubs with open fires, good conversation, walking with the dog to a pub with an open fire to eat good food and drink good wine.
Some of them want you to list your perfect partner.....
Someone who can talk about Phineas & Ferb, and also the role of Livia in the development of the Roman Empire and whether I Claudius is more fantasy than fact. I want someone who will go to the cinema to see the latest Pixar film and yet is happy to go to a dark zone for a holiday to use the telescope. I want someone who will sing a duet with me at Karaoke and doesn't need to be bladdered to do so and watches Only Connect, not just because they fancy Victoria Coren. I'd like it if they enjoyed Pratchett, Gaiman and Adams and I'd like them to make me laugh.
Oh and if they could look okish without their shirt and they liked the look of me without my shirt then that would be a win.
Should have them flocking, no? No.
I joined a fairly new site, Bumble. Its quite trendy I think. The lady has to message first <ooh>. No, I don't know how that works in same sex couples. Its a bit Tindery in that you swipe left or right depending on your opinion and its based on pics and location. Possibly because it's new, it seems to have limited subscribers which means I often get the post "Looks like you've run out of people". Oh great. I have exhausted the dating prospects of the north west already.
My fear is that I will end up doing a Julia. A Julia? You may well ask. Allow me to elucidate.
Sat on a bus in front of two elderly ladies on their way to lunch at Kendals department store. One was lamenting how Holly (grand daughter perhaps) had left her partner and was now sharing an apartment with 2 other girls in Kensington. Her chum tried to console her but to no avail. "I think she's going to do a Julia." she wailed.
The chum replied, shocked "Surely not! How old is Holly?" "34" was the reply. "There you go then"
Julia, it seems, is 42, single and has a cat and the general opinion is that she is never going to find a chap and apparently we must all despair.
For the record, I raise my glass to Julia and I hope she is bloody happy!
PS If during this blog, you suddenly found yourself unaccountably singing "Ev'rybody Wants to be a Cat", then you may have 10 points and go to the top of the class.
