There's the boring practicalities to sort out - that's mine this is yours and we are maintaining a friendly and open aspect in order to make this as painless as possible. So you see, this won't be an outpouring of bile and invective. If you're looking for that you'll just have to take me out and get me drunk. This is my pondering on my new position within society. After more years than I can comfortably count, I am single. On the market. Back in the game. And I have some questions.
Where do you find dating opportunities? Last time I was 'out there' I was clubbing 5-6 times a week and single chaps were just about everywhere. Couldn't move for them in fact. Not so many hanging out at the theatre or hipster tearoom.
Chums tell me online is the way to go and I have browsed the options, finally deciding that when the time is right I shall hang out with the Guardian gang. Looking for middle class middle aged slightly hipster chaps who like dogs? Best bet is definitely the Guardian.
So let's assume I find a likely chap... Then what? Where do people go on dates? Dinner? Theatre? Walk in the park? Previous experiences were snogging in dark corners of a dingy nightclub club after which me & The Lad were together and that was that. Didn't really go on many dates. Certainly didn't snog on the doorstep. Maybe I missed out. Perhaps this is my opportunity to capture the thrill of being romanced!
And do people still snog in the cinema? In my youth, your badge of dating honour was how much of a film you didn't see. I can remember going to see Clockwise with a beau and I still haven't got a clue what it's about! I do remember he had railway track braces and by the end of the evening I was so cut and bruised that my father thought he'd hit me and was about to get paternal on his ass. Alas the romance didn't last but at least like the bruising, didn't leave a scar.
I don't see many couples locked in uncomfortable embraces any more. And I have to say if I had paid £10 to see a film plus all the extras, I would be right miffed if I missed any of the plot cos some Lothario was trying to stick his tongue in my ear.
Is inviting in for coffee still a euphemism for nookie being on the table? And does it still count if you drink tea? The wee beastie Saga sleeps with me most nights so any hopeful suitor will have to be ok with a furry hot water bottle turning up as a rather surprising surprise. Perhaps I should include that in my Guardian post.
Along with my requirement that he enjoy cryptic crosswords but isn't great at them, loves Only Connect and Robot Wars and is happy to keep his hands to himself in the movie theatre. Unless it's a horror film. Obviously.
