An insight into bipolar disorder
11 May 2015
Lillekat explains how bipolar disorder affects her
life, her colleagues and her work.
I was diagnosed informally as
bipolar, or manic depressive as it was known, when I was about fourteen.
My mood swings went beyond the usual teenage tantrums, and I would veer from
periods of depression to episodes of mania with barely a blink.
At various stages of my adult
life I was treated for depression with drugs, cognitive behavioural therapy and
counselling. Each treatment worked for a while, but then the roller-coaster would begin again. After a particularly bad episode, I was given a mood stabiliser
to suppress the highs and lows of bipolar disorder. Whilst this is by no means a
“cure” it limits the frequency of episodes and allows an almost normal life.
At previous employers I was very
aware that I shouldn't talk about it, I’d rather take days off with ‘flu’, ‘migraine’ or ‘stomach problems’. Since arriving at my current employment, I have
been open and honest about my condition. It is a part of me, like some people
are asthmatic.
My communication style, my
relationship with data and the way I view situations are all directly
affected by my condition, but I see this as a strength as well as a
vulnerability. I have been fortunate that my managers have been extremely
supportive, and colleagues are appreciative of my honesty as it relieves them
from wondering and worrying about me. Being able to say “I'm feeling a bit
bipolar today” is extraordinarily liberating and means I can still do my work
without causing a problem. I am also getting better at recognising a dip or
crash coming and I can take steps to deal with it – rather than trying to carry
on until a full blown episode. I take a day or two to sleep, reboot and reset
myself. This greatly reduces the likelihood of a full episode which would have
consequences for me, my team and my work.
Living with a condition like
bipolar can be a pain in the proverbial. The lows are scary, horrific and grim.
The highs are also scary but thrilling and have a pretty nasty come down
afterwards. But its effects are also creative, inspiring, and can give you a
real appreciation for life and for the little ‘normal’ things. Having an
employer like mine, who embrace the different and the creative,
makes dealing with a difficult condition that much easier.
